Hey guys
I'm so sorry that I haven't been posting much recently. I've been so ill and so busy with exams and school work.
Tomorrow is ME awareness day so I thought I'd just have a little ramble about how ME affects me.
ME affects everything I do. I get so frustrated because I don't have much control over my body or my symptoms and it's so annoying! I get frustrated that I can't do the things that I want to do and I get really upset that I am missing out.
I don't have the life of a normal teenage girl and I can't go to school. I don't have many friends and I can't do a lot of the things that I enjoy; like going out shopping etc.
ME has affected the way I look. I can't shower everyday and I don't wear make up very often even though I really want to. I love make up and beauty and read tonnes of beauty blogs and I watch loads of beauty YouTubers but ME means that I can't portray my interests in my appearance.
I have to wear comfy clothes because of the pain and fibromyalgia and I have also put on a lot of weight through not being able to exercise.
ME has affected my friends and family and it has affected things like birthdays, Christmas, holidays and days out. There is so much to think about when you have ME and you can't just go out and do something. You have to rest beforehand and make sure you have a free day(or more, depending on what you are doing) to rest afterwards.
Sometimes I can't read or watch TV because I makes me too ill.
I get a lot of pain which is really scary and really affects me because I don't know what is going on inside my body and I don't know if the pain is going to get better, get worse or whether it's something else, not fibro.
There are so many factors that can determined how sick you are feeling everyday and it's really unpredictable because sometimes if it's really hot, I get more exhausted and the sun can make me ill. The weather can change how you feel and so can different emotions. I get too excited or nervous or angry or anything like that, I can end up feeling really ill so I try to stay as calm as I can.
If you don't have ME, I hope this has helped you to understand a little bit more about how it affects us. Obviously some people have it worse than others and it affects everyone in different ways. Happy ME awareness day for tomorrow!!
Saturday, 11 May 2013
Sunday, 14 April 2013
Favourite Spoonie Blogs
My Top Spoonie Blogs
Hi Guys,
Todays post is going to be all about my favourite 'Spoonie' blogs. So lets crack on!
- Bendy Beth - I love Beth so much. We first started talking on twitter over a year ago now (how time flies when you are having fun!) and she is always there for me. Thank you Beth!
- Laughing from my sickbed - Irene is one of the strongest women i know. I hope she doesn't mind me saying this but she has been ill for over 30 years and continues to carry on fighting. She is very strong-minded and her blog is amazing if you want advice, information and laughs.
- Fight ME Strong - Charlotte is amazing and so positive and inspirational. A lovely gorgeous girl who i am proud to be friends with.
- Sick Girl Diary - I first found Kelly on Youtube, and can i just say, I luuurve her Youtube channel. She has the best spoonie videos and is so positive and inspirational.
- Mookpixie - I found Charlotte on twitter and then saw her blog after that. She is such a lovely girl and her posts are so helpful.
Sunday, 31 March 2013
Why I wear make up
Spoonie: Why do i wear make up?
Surely if you feel so ill, you wouldn't bother with make up?
I guess thats what I'd think too if I wasn't sick but I am.
Being ill every second of every day is not like having a virus or flu that lasts for a few days. I understand thst if you are temporarily sick, you don't want to wear make up but if being sick is your day to day life, you have to try and get on with things and not let your illness get in the way of everything! If I had a bug or virus, I wouldn't be expected to work but having a chronic illness, I am.
ME and fibro is not going to go away. It could be with me forever, or for a good few years at least, so why shouldn't I make myself look respectful, 20 days a year?
I don't want to look back at photographs of myself on my birthday or at Christmas and think how ill I looked. I want to remember how hard it was to get to that point and how I survived, how I had a good time and how this illness did NOT win. It didn't stop me from going out or from celebrating. It's depressing to look rubbish all the time. I dont look like I used to. Some people might not realise this but I've put on weight, I don't wear the same sort of clothes and I don't wear make up everyday. I don't style my hair or wear fake tan. I look different than I used to. I've put on weight and don't wear the same sort of clothes.
I put on make up because it's the only thing I can do, to make myself look more normal. And that way, when I look in the mirror and see someone who looks healthy, it makes me feel less isolated and lonely and I get to pretend for a few hours that I am just a normal girl, not one with a chronic illness.
Putting on make up DOES take an awful lot of energy from me, and makes me feel ill, but then again, what doesn't?
I wear make up, about twice a month? Sometimes more, sometimes less. I always put it on if I am going to a family party or to see friends or something. If I'm going to the doctors, I don't bother but sometimes it's nice to make yourself feel special and concentrate on your appearance.
Inspired by Kelly Fricke
Surely if you feel so ill, you wouldn't bother with make up?
I guess thats what I'd think too if I wasn't sick but I am.
Being ill every second of every day is not like having a virus or flu that lasts for a few days. I understand thst if you are temporarily sick, you don't want to wear make up but if being sick is your day to day life, you have to try and get on with things and not let your illness get in the way of everything! If I had a bug or virus, I wouldn't be expected to work but having a chronic illness, I am.
ME and fibro is not going to go away. It could be with me forever, or for a good few years at least, so why shouldn't I make myself look respectful, 20 days a year?
I don't want to look back at photographs of myself on my birthday or at Christmas and think how ill I looked. I want to remember how hard it was to get to that point and how I survived, how I had a good time and how this illness did NOT win. It didn't stop me from going out or from celebrating. It's depressing to look rubbish all the time. I dont look like I used to. Some people might not realise this but I've put on weight, I don't wear the same sort of clothes and I don't wear make up everyday. I don't style my hair or wear fake tan. I look different than I used to. I've put on weight and don't wear the same sort of clothes.
I put on make up because it's the only thing I can do, to make myself look more normal. And that way, when I look in the mirror and see someone who looks healthy, it makes me feel less isolated and lonely and I get to pretend for a few hours that I am just a normal girl, not one with a chronic illness.
Putting on make up DOES take an awful lot of energy from me, and makes me feel ill, but then again, what doesn't?
I wear make up, about twice a month? Sometimes more, sometimes less. I always put it on if I am going to a family party or to see friends or something. If I'm going to the doctors, I don't bother but sometimes it's nice to make yourself feel special and concentrate on your appearance.
Inspired by Kelly Fricke
Monday, 11 March 2013
Makeover
Incase you didn't notice, this place had a bit of a makeover!
The lovely Steph from bonjourbellexo.com gave my blog a well needed jazz up and I really really love it! Thank you so much Steph and I hope you all like it too! Let me know what you think!
The lovely Steph from bonjourbellexo.com gave my blog a well needed jazz up and I really really love it! Thank you so much Steph and I hope you all like it too! Let me know what you think!
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Thursday, 7 March 2013
Worthlessness - Emotions we experience when chronically ill
Hey guys,
It's me again! Okay, let's be honest, who else would it be?! Oops, the posts are becoming further and further apart!
WORTHLESSNESS - (I hope that is a word!)
We live in a society where the first thing people ask you (when you first meet them) is "what do you do?", meaning 'for a living' its quite easy to feel like you do nothing when you're ill. (If you are a teen like me, you get asked what school you go to, and I have no idea what to answer when they ask that!) Awkward!!
Many spoonies with these illnesses don't have the strength or energy to even do ordinary household chores let alone hold a 9-5, Mon-Fri job outside the home too.
Even those who don't have the fatigue problem still are very limited because of having to avoid chemicals and dust and mold, bright lights (sitting in front of a computer or in a shop), loud noises and other things.
So the 'what do you do' question is quite tricky! Others seem to judge us by that standard too. So what is our worth? If you are a doctor or a teacher, you are 'worth' more than someone who is a cleaner or works in a shop.
All of us who are ill go through this questioning at least periodically, and especially during long periods of 'crashes'. We don't even know who we are anymore! :(
We're sure not like we were pre-illness! Some can't play with their kids like they used to, do the hobbies or sports that they once loved. And we feel like we're always needing something, some help. We feel very dependent on others and sometimes we feel that others resent that.
We don't want to ask for too much because after all what do we have to offer in return?
What have we done to deserve gifts and treats?
The frustrating thing is, us who are ill, are often very bright, clever people. Our dreams were to become vets, or firemen!
We had/have potential and it's really hard to explain that to someone.
How do you feel about this? Whether you experience any of these emotions or symptoms regularly, I just wanna say that you are not alone. Sometimes it's hard to tell how you feel, especially if you are feeling more than one emotion at a time.
I hope this series is helping some of you
Chloe xo
It's me again! Okay, let's be honest, who else would it be?! Oops, the posts are becoming further and further apart!
WORTHLESSNESS - (I hope that is a word!)
We live in a society where the first thing people ask you (when you first meet them) is "what do you do?", meaning 'for a living' its quite easy to feel like you do nothing when you're ill. (If you are a teen like me, you get asked what school you go to, and I have no idea what to answer when they ask that!) Awkward!!
Many spoonies with these illnesses don't have the strength or energy to even do ordinary household chores let alone hold a 9-5, Mon-Fri job outside the home too.
Even those who don't have the fatigue problem still are very limited because of having to avoid chemicals and dust and mold, bright lights (sitting in front of a computer or in a shop), loud noises and other things.
So the 'what do you do' question is quite tricky! Others seem to judge us by that standard too. So what is our worth? If you are a doctor or a teacher, you are 'worth' more than someone who is a cleaner or works in a shop.
All of us who are ill go through this questioning at least periodically, and especially during long periods of 'crashes'. We don't even know who we are anymore! :(
We're sure not like we were pre-illness! Some can't play with their kids like they used to, do the hobbies or sports that they once loved. And we feel like we're always needing something, some help. We feel very dependent on others and sometimes we feel that others resent that.
We don't want to ask for too much because after all what do we have to offer in return?
What have we done to deserve gifts and treats?
The frustrating thing is, us who are ill, are often very bright, clever people. Our dreams were to become vets, or firemen!
We had/have potential and it's really hard to explain that to someone.
How do you feel about this? Whether you experience any of these emotions or symptoms regularly, I just wanna say that you are not alone. Sometimes it's hard to tell how you feel, especially if you are feeling more than one emotion at a time.
I hope this series is helping some of you
Chloe xo
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