Update

I hate it when i don't write. Especially for a long period of time. I forget where i left off, what i have and haven't told you guys since i last posted.

When I do have the energy to write, and remember to, I get so confused and seem to forget all the details. I hate that I am not posting on here as regularly as intended. This blog is turning into such a mess. A random mess, but my mess all the same. A place where I can be me.

My attempts at reviews are poor but I do love beauty. I love make-up (as you may of guessed if you follow me on Pinterest) and I want to express it on here but I am not a beauty blogger by any means.

It's finally starting to look a little bit like summer here in England and I'm counting down the days till my birthday. Just 6 now.

At the moment, my thoughts are "Oh god the pain is so bad". The lower half of my body just feels like one big ball of pain. I've just made a hot water bottle so hopefully that will help a bit. Overall I think I've been making improvements, although it's hard to tell. This illness is full of ups and downs, its hard to keep track! Recently, my achievements have included completing all my exams, going to Starbucks, going to the library, going to asda and baking some cookies! Not too bad, eh? I'm very pleased and proud, if I do say so myself.

I don't know if I mentioned this before, but we are going on holiday at the end of august. My first holiday since being ill! It's so exciting and I am so worried at the same time. A couple of weeks ago, I couldn't sleep, so I wrote down all the things I was worried about about going away. It took 3 whole pages in my notebook. 'nough said! It's so so exciting and if any of you have any advice, I'd love to hear it!

Also, I have applied for a Childcare course at college. Not sure if I will be well enough yet (probably not) but I really really want to give it a go. Lessons have finished for the summer now that all my exams are over and it's so strange not to have them anymore. I keep confusing the days now that I don't have set things to do or a set timetable!

I'm really enjoying being on summer break though, the spoons that I previously used for lessons, can now be used for more exciting things like going shopping and doing things that I have been meaning to do for months!

I guess I better go now. I should get some sleep and i think I've mentioned pretty much all the stuff that has been going on recently. After my birthday, I might do another photo post (I don't think I've done one since Christmas) with pictures of things I have been doing and maybe try and do the odd haul or a 'what I got for my birthday' post so let me know if you would like to see that. I'm still trying to find my way of blogging, there are so many things I Want to include in my blog but I'm not sure which format is best and I'm not sure who the target audience is (not that I'm doing it for views). I'm still learning, so bare with me, and hopefully you'll be seeing another post from me soon! Love you all!

B.E.S.T testing

Hey guys
Today I went and had a B.E.S.T. test which stands for BioEnergetic Stress Test.
It's a bit of a controversial thing as many doctors and people don't believe in it and don't think that it can help.

I went to the clinic (private) a couple of years ago and that's when I found out that I was lactose intolerance etc. Coming off cows milk has really helped with my digestion and I'm able to absorb more minerals and vitamins now.

This time, they said that I haven't got ME or Fibromyalgia.

I'm not really sure what to think, as they are not doctors and it's confusing to receive so much contradicting advice. Apparently I have a thyroid problem and none of my hormones are working. I am very low on fatty acids and oils and have been given some tablets to take such as omega 3,5,7,9 and something to help the thyroid.

They seem certain that the cause of all these problems was the HPV vaccine that I had when I was 12. The lady said that she has seen a lot of young girls with problems after having the injection.
And I have now been given some drops to take which are going to get rid of the HPV injection from my system and at the moment, my body seems to think that I am suffering with the virus.

I hope that these new tablets and drops etc do help me and I'll keep you all updated. I am going back in 6 weeks so will certainly do an update then. If you have any questions, feel free to ask and I would definitely recommend going to somewhere that does B.E.S.T testing to see if they can help you.

Anything is worth a try, right?

Feeling the happiest I have in a while...

Hey guys

I had a pretty good couple of weeks. And although i know it wont last long, i feel fab and am enjoying it while i can. There is also a little part of me that is convinced that im getting better but how many times have i sat here saying that, eh?

Often when i am really really ill, I feel trapped inside my heavy sick aching body but now I'm feeling a bit better (not 100% but a lot better than normal), it's a great feeling and I almost feel 'free' because I am able to do so much more which excites me so much.

To the 'normal/healthy' person, it wouldn't seem that I am doing a lot but I definitely am making progress and it's really helping me to stay positive and I feel the happiest I have in ages.

12th May 2013 - ME Awareness Day and frustrations

Hey guys
I'm so sorry that I haven't been posting much recently. I've been so ill and so busy with exams and school work.

Tomorrow is ME awareness day so I thought I'd just have a little ramble about how ME affects me.

ME affects everything I do. I get so frustrated because I don't have much control over my body or my symptoms and it's so annoying! I get frustrated that I can't do the things that I want to do and I get really upset that I am missing out.

I don't have the life of a normal teenage girl and I can't go to school. I don't have many friends and I can't do a lot of the things that I enjoy; like going out shopping etc.

ME has affected the way I look. I can't shower everyday and I don't wear make up very often even though I really want to. I love make up and beauty and read tonnes of beauty blogs and I watch loads of beauty YouTubers but ME means that I can't portray my interests in my appearance.

I have to wear comfy clothes because of the pain and fibromyalgia and I have also put on a lot of weight through not being able to exercise.

ME has affected my friends and family and it has affected things like birthdays, Christmas, holidays and days out. There is so much to think about when you have ME and you can't just go out and do something. You have to rest beforehand and make sure you have a free day(or more, depending on what you are doing) to rest afterwards.

Sometimes I can't read or watch TV because I makes me too ill.

I get a lot of pain which is really scary and really affects me because I don't know what is going on inside my body and I don't know if the pain is going to get better, get worse or whether it's something else, not fibro.

There are so many factors that can determined how sick you are feeling everyday and it's really unpredictable because sometimes if it's really hot, I get more exhausted and the sun can make me ill. The weather can change how you feel and so can different emotions. I get too excited or nervous or angry or anything like that, I can end up feeling really ill so I try to stay as calm as I can.

If you don't have ME, I hope this has helped you to understand a little bit more about how it affects us. Obviously some people have it worse than others and it affects everyone in different ways. Happy ME awareness day for tomorrow!!

Favourite Spoonie Blogs

My Top Spoonie Blogs

Hi Guys,
Todays post is going to be all about my favourite 'Spoonie' blogs. So lets crack on!

• Bendy Beth - I love Beth so much. We first started talking on twitter over a year ago now (how time flies when you are having fun!) and she is always there for me. Thank you Beth!
• Laughing from my sickbed - Irene is one of the strongest women i know. I hope she doesn't mind me saying this but she has been ill for over 30 years and continues to carry on fighting. She is very strong-minded and her blog is amazing if you want advice, information and laughs.
• Fight ME Strong - Charlotte is amazing and so positive and inspirational. A lovely gorgeous girl who i am proud to be friends with.
• Sick Girl Diary - I first found Kelly on Youtube, and can i just say, I luuurve her Youtube channel. She has the best spoonie videos and is so positive and inspirational.
• Mookpixie -  I found Charlotte on twitter and then saw her blog after that. She is such a lovely girl and her posts are so helpful.

Okay, so they are some of my favourite spoonie blogs, sorry i couldn't include them all but please let me know what some of your favourite spoonie blogs are as i would love to find some more!