Feeling lonely, friends and missing out

Recently I've been feeling really down about the fact that I don't have a lot of friends. I have a lot of online friends, people I write to and talk to on twitter and don't get me wrong, I'm super grateful for them all and I love them loads but sometimes I wish I had more real-life friends that i can hang out with. 

There are so many hurdles to get over and problems to face though. For example: how would I meet new friends? I finish college in a couple of weeks and I'm not well enough to join any clubs or groups. If I made friends, I wouldn't be able to do a lot with them because I can't walk too far or go shopping etc. I am only 16 (17 next week!) and I don't have much of a social life which makes me sad because I think I'm quite a social person. I like to talk (a lot) and I'd really like to hang out with people my own age but it's too complicated and it wouldn't be fair on the people I hung out with. 

Sometimes I think I've got my ME under control and I manage to do quite a lot and it doesn't affect me much but other times, like at the moment, when I'm super poorly, I'm like "wow, I really do have ME don't i?!" I don't really have a way of controlling this and it is a huge part if my life. 

Sometimes it hits me how much I can't do. I can't eat certain things, I can't do anything that requires much energy, I can't walk or exercise, I can't work the job that I want to. And I literally cannot explain to you, how much ME sucks. It really sucks and at the moment, it sucks big time. 

Favourite Spoonie Blogs

My Top Spoonie Blogs

Hi Guys,
Todays post is going to be all about my favourite 'Spoonie' blogs. So lets crack on!

• Bendy Beth - I love Beth so much. We first started talking on twitter over a year ago now (how time flies when you are having fun!) and she is always there for me. Thank you Beth!
• Laughing from my sickbed - Irene is one of the strongest women i know. I hope she doesn't mind me saying this but she has been ill for over 30 years and continues to carry on fighting. She is very strong-minded and her blog is amazing if you want advice, information and laughs.
• Fight ME Strong - Charlotte is amazing and so positive and inspirational. A lovely gorgeous girl who i am proud to be friends with.
• Sick Girl Diary - I first found Kelly on Youtube, and can i just say, I luuurve her Youtube channel. She has the best spoonie videos and is so positive and inspirational.
• Mookpixie -  I found Charlotte on twitter and then saw her blog after that. She is such a lovely girl and her posts are so helpful.

Okay, so they are some of my favourite spoonie blogs, sorry i couldn't include them all but please let me know what some of your favourite spoonie blogs are as i would love to find some more!

A worldwide bond

Something I have learnt since being ill is that people from around the world, from other countries, aren't all that different to me and to British people.

Reading blogs and tweets, they could be written by anyone, from anywhere in the world. And it's strange how I have come to feel closer and more in-tune with people who live halfway around the works, than people from my town.

I never really thought that other countries, such as America and Australia were all that different. But I guess, now I know that we are all really the same. We have different traditions, different slang, different weather and things like that.

But when it comes down to it, those aren't the important things. The things that are most important are that we all want to be happy, we all get upset, scared and angry by the sane things.

A lot of people that I talk to, and who I consider my friends, from around the world, have the same DVDs as me, same nail varnishes and things like that. And I think it's just so fascinating that we talk about that DVD, or nail varnish, compare opinions, without even having to be in the same room, or country.

All of the people I talk to on twitter, know how I feel, because they are sick with ME, fibro, CFS, CFIDS, lupus or EDS too. Some might live thousands of miles away but there are still things that connect us together.

I never thought that I'd feel so close, or have so much in common to someone who lives in another country, who I have never met, and who is 10 or 20 years older than me, but I do.

The initial bond that we have, is the ME, but afterwards, I have found that we have other things in common too. We watch the same Youtubers, we are interested in fashion/beauty, like the same music, watch the same TV shows.

That is something I have learnt in 2012.

P.S. Hope you all had a fab Christmas