Recently I've been feeling really down about the fact that I don't have a lot of friends. I have a lot of online friends, people I write to and talk to on twitter and don't get me wrong, I'm super grateful for them all and I love them loads but sometimes I wish I had more real-life friends that i can hang out with.
There are so many hurdles to get over and problems to face though. For example: how would I meet new friends? I finish college in a couple of weeks and I'm not well enough to join any clubs or groups. If I made friends, I wouldn't be able to do a lot with them because I can't walk too far or go shopping etc. I am only 16 (17 next week!) and I don't have much of a social life which makes me sad because I think I'm quite a social person. I like to talk (a lot) and I'd really like to hang out with people my own age but it's too complicated and it wouldn't be fair on the people I hung out with.
Sometimes I think I've got my ME under control and I manage to do quite a lot and it doesn't affect me much but other times, like at the moment, when I'm super poorly, I'm like "wow, I really do have ME don't i?!" I don't really have a way of controlling this and it is a huge part if my life.
Sometimes it hits me how much I can't do. I can't eat certain things, I can't do anything that requires much energy, I can't walk or exercise, I can't work the job that I want to. And I literally cannot explain to you, how much ME sucks. It really sucks and at the moment, it sucks big time.
