January Favourites and Achievements

The most long, grey and miserable month of the year is finally over! *cheers and confetti emoji!*

Can you tell I am glad that January is over? Onwards and upwards to the month of love and pancakes aka February.

Beauty Favourites

During January I have fallen back in love with the Soap and Glory Sugar Crush Body Scrub. Last time I ran out of this I ditched it for the Breakfast Scrub because I fancied a change but have since gone back to Sugar Crush and I think I'll be sticking with it for the foreseeable. I love the scent and I prefer sugar scrubs to the grainy ones. I really like how harsh and scrubby the S&G body scrubs are which means a little goes a long way and they last for ages. There's nothing worse than a body 'scrub' that is more like a shower gel with the odd stray grain in.

 

I also really love the Revlon Nearly Naked foundation, the shade Ivory is a near perfect match for my skin. I have normal/dry skin but at the moment it is very dry and this foundation doesn't cling to any dry patches - Yay! I love the light/medium coverage it gives, it is perfect for everyday and it gives a glowy/healthy look. I will definitely be using this foundation going into spring.

 

The next product  have been loving is the Maybelline Fit Me Concealer. I can tell I am going to go through the concealer super quickly because I've only had it a couple of months and can see i have used about a third of it already.. Whenever I heard people talk about it, I was adimant I didn't want it as they said how light the coverage was and I thought, concealer needs to be as thick and full coverage as possible why would you want it to be light coverage! Surely that's a waste of time and it won't do its job! ...But actually I was wrong and I love this soooo much! I have the shade 15 which I use for under my eyes (I prefer to use something like the Collection Lasting Perfection Concealer for blemishes or spots). It gives a really lovely brightening effect and because it is so light in coverage, it blends really easily (I use my ring finger to pat it in, then the Real Techniques contour brush) and it doesn't look cakey or too thick and heavy.

YouTube Favourites

I have been enjoying quite a few new YouTube channels during January. The first is the lovely Meg from Meg Says. Not only is she possibly the most gorgeous person on the planet but she is a fellow ME sufferer and beauty lover.

 

The beautiful Emma from Emma Drusilla started her channel this month. She is a fellow ME sufferer too and is such a natural at talking to a camera and engaging with her audience and I am really enjoying her videos. I am so proud of both Emma and Meg #spooniesistersunite

 

I also found Leanne via Instagram at the beginning of January. She has ME and Lupus and has been vlogging and talking about make up on her channel M.E Myslef Leanne. Leanne is so positive and relatable and such a joy to watch. I really look forward to her videos.  

 

Book Favourite

 

My book favourite for January (along with One Million Lovely Letters that I wrote about here) is Pretty Honest by Sali Hughes. I have loved Sali's website and YouTube channel for quite a while, her 'In the bathroom' videos are my absolute favourites so I knew I would love her book. You might find this strange (I think I do) but my favourite chapter was probably the Anti-Aging one. I love reading about skincare so it was really interesting for me but everything is written really simply so it is informative, witty, relatable and easy to understand. Every beauty lover (or woman!) needs this book. It is amazing and I already want to keep it forever and pass it down to my daughter(s).

 

 

Achievements

 

 

During January I have got my anxiety under so much more control and my anxiety medication has started to work really well. 

I don't feel like I've done much at all in January but actually when I write it all down, it does seem like quite a bit. 

Here's the list:

Went to my nans for an hour for a cup of tea

Went to the doctors 

Went to the bank and opened my first bank account 

Went to nannys for Christmas take 2 

Washed hair 3 times

 

Goals for February:

Try and make a homemade green smoothie - find out what I do/don't like and practice a recipe 

Go shopping at least twice (already been once)

Wash hair once a week 

Carry on with walks and stretches  

Eat some pancakes for pancake day! - hopefully I'll fancy one and wont feel too nauseous so be able to eat it - nom!

 

How was your January?

Winter Nail Polish Picks 2015

Winter is probably my least favourite season for nail polish. In the spring I wear a lot of greens, pinks and pastels. In the summer I am all about the brights and neons. Autumn is great for deep berry shades, jewel tones and December is, of course, glitter. By the time January rolls around I am usually feeling a little bit lost as to what colours to use, my nails are usually left in a bit of a state after all that glitter over Christmas too. What is a girl to do?  If you are like me and need a little bit of nail inspiration at this time of year, I hope this helps and you enjoy seeing some of my favourites.

Sidenote: winter lighting is not my friend.

WARNING: this post features a LOT of grey *monkey covering his eyes emoji*

First up is Avon Midnight Green. I am a bit fan of green nails in general and I really like this darker green shade. I like that it is not so dark that it looks black and you can still tell it is green.

Barry M Vintage Violet is a really pretty grey-purple shade. It is muted and classy and I think it is quite an usual shade to find from a cheaper brand.



Essie Blue Rhapsody is an icey blue toned silver metallic polish. Its really easy to apply because you just need  one coat and it dries super quickly so if you are impatient - this is the one to go for!




Barry M Chai is a really pretty grey shade that goes with any outfit. You all know how much i rate the Gelly formula so this is definitely a winner for me.

Barry M Mushroom is such a classic shade that i think i will always love and have in my collection. Its a really nice brown-nude but its not so pale that it gives your hands a 'dead' look. Most of the colours i have chosen for winter are quite neutral and simple after the craziness of holiday glitter. 

Essie Jazz is a lovely neutral shade (another neutral!). I would really recommend this shade not just for winter, but for any smart occasion such as an interview or important meeting because it just makes your hands look very tidy and polished. 

Essie Chinchilly is another classic that i wouldn't want to be without in my collection. Its a warm grey with a very slight mink/purple tone. Super pretty and one of my go-to polishes when i don't know what to wear. This is a polish i will never get bored of!

Last but not least, Essie Bobbing for Baubles is a dark navy blue with a grey tone to it. Its a bit more interesting than your average dark blue but its still classy and subtle.The perfect way to add a bit of colour but navy to me, is still a neutral. Great for all skin tones.

What is your favourite polish to wear for winter? Are there any you think I should try?

Book Recomedation: One Million Lovely Letters

Something a little different from me today, I don't usually do book reviews, this isn't really a review anyway, more of a recommendation. The book in question is One Million Lovely Letters by Jodie Ann Bickley. I first found out about Jodie about a year ago on Twitter. Then last autumn, I heard she was on Surprise Surprise so as a fellow ME sufferer, I tuned in to find out more about her and her project, One Million Lovely Letters. [You can check out the site here]

After hearing her story I immediately fell in love with her and put her book, One Million Lovely Letters on my Christmas list. I was lucky enough to receive it and last week I started reading her book. It only took me two days to read it and is fairly short but I really really enjoyed reading it and found it uplifting and inspiring yet interesting, entertaining and easy to read. 

I found it really relatable too, not just because we both have ME but because she really is just an ordinary girl with a very big heart who wants to make people happy and the world a better place. 

I won't give away any spoilers, you'll have to read the book yourself (!!) but I think everyone could learn something from Jodie's story, whether you have the same illness or not. 

If you've not already read this book, I wholeheartedly recommend that you grab yourself a copy and give it a read.

Have you read One Million Lovely Letters? If so, what did you think?

I'm Back!

Sooo.. It's been a while. As you all know, this illness is unpredictable and it sure has been kicking my butt the past few weeks. The end of 2014 wasn't great for me. For the past 8 years I have suffered from bad anxiety and at the end of 2013 I made the decision to come off of my anxiety medication. All was going well anxiety-wise until October last year and it just got worse and worse from there onwards. This is definitely the worst my anxiety has ever been and I'm not sure why it came back, I think maybe me not being at college had a part to play in it but I guess we'll never know. I was having panic attacks at least once a day, having nightmares, not eating properly and not sleeping well at all. I mostly get anxious during the night and I think because it's winter and it is darker for longer, my anxiety is around for longer too. I'm not sure what it is, the dark just makes me feel more closed in and claustrophobic. 

In December I went back on my anxiety medication and I think it's finally starting to work, I'm definitely feeling a lot more relaxed and sleeping better. My eating isn't back to normal but I think that could just be my M.E. 

Sidenote: I'd just like to point out that before I started taking medication again, I tried a lot of other things, meditation, herbal tea, herbal tablets and remedies, aromatherapy, relaxing baths etc. 

Being chronically ill has suddenly really got to me. Maybe I took it too well to start with and am now having a delayed reaction? I'm not sure but Christmas Day was one of the worst days ever for me, in hindsight I shouldn't of done so much beforehand (I had a friend round on Monday, doctors on Tuesday, Christmas Eve busy-ness on Wednesday so naturally on Thursday I was pooped). I had been feeling pretty bad for the past couple of weeks. 

On Christmas morning I went downstairs to open my presents and have breakfast, all was fine, I mean, I felt ill and was exhausted but I thought I'd be okay. After presents I needed to go back upstairs to rest and this was when it got bad [just writing/thinking about it isn't nice]. My heart started to beat really fast, which for me is a sign of total exhaustion. I lay in bed for about half an hour before I felt like I was going to be sick so made my way to the bathroom. Two hours later and I was still sitting on the bathroom floor feeling sick, weak, exhausted, dizzy and many more things, I'd be here all day if I listed everything! I soon realised that I wasn't going to feel any better any time soon so had to make the decision to stay home whilst the rest of my family (apart from my mum who stayed with me). At the time, I honestly didn't care that it was Christmas Day, I just wanted to feel better so went to bed to rest. 

I can honestly say Christmas Day was one of the worst I've ever felt. I was so nauseous, it was painful and I am now so gutted that I missed out on christmas - anyone who knows me, knows how utterly obsessed I am with christmas! I was extremely light sensitive too (hence the glasses) 

For the past year me and my mum have been planning my dad a surprise birthday party for his 50th birthday which was on New Years Eve. The party was at home and I managed it quite well but struggled a lot with being around a lot of people and it being really loud. I was downstairs for a little while, perhaps not as long as I would of liked but considering how I was on Christmas Day, I'm pleased with what I managed. 

I've never really faced anything before that determination and hard work didn't fix so it's quite hard to still be ill and struggling after 4 years. Especailly when family members make comments about 'how long this has been going on for' - as if I'm not aware of it myself!

I've been feeling down because last year I managed so much at Christmas and even in January, I managed quite a lot too. It's upsetting to of gone backwards and hard not to compare previous years - even though I try not to!

So, that's what's been going on. I feel like I went quite deep there! (Lol) I am now getting back on track (slowly) and feeling a lot better than I was. As far as New Years Resolutions go, I haven't really made any apart from to keep up with the little bit of walking I've been doing with my mum every evening. Don't get too excited, it's not much, just down our road a little way but so far I've been doing it for 3 months and have only missed a few really bad days. 

I've also been trying to introduce some stretching back into my routine as my legs have been feeling extra sore. Back in the summer/autumn, I was doing some more exercises suggested to me by the lady I saw for physio so ideally I'd like to build back up to doing that again (although I'm in no rush). I'd also like to give yoga/Pilates a go and meditate more during 2015. I've been using this video as a guide for stretching. 

Hopefully I'll be blogging a bit more regularly now, and I'll be sure to keep you updated if anything exciting happens. 

Let me know if there are any posts you'd like to see me do, I'd always love some more ideas. 

Lots of love, Chloe x 

The Christmas TAG

I am so excited for Christmas - you'd think it only came every ten years not every year! So in keeping with my festive mood, I thought I'd do this Christmas TAG, put together by the lovely Poppy

1. What is your favourite Christmas movie? 

Believe it or not, I've never actually seen Elf, which I know is a lot of people's favourites. I love The Grinch, Aurthur Christmas, The Polar Express, The Nativity films and I love Christmassy rom-coms like Love Actually and The Holiday too. 

2. Do you open your Christmas presents on Christmas Eve or morning? 

Christmas Morning

3. Do you have a favourite Christmas memory? 

There isn't a specific Christmas memory that stands out but I do remember always being in the school choir and learning Christmas songs for the productions/carol services. One year we sang at the local lights-switching-on and that night my mum and dad told me, my brother and sister that we were going to Lapland UK the next day. Going to Lapland UK was super magical and amazing. 

I was also chosen/I volunteered to read out part of the nativity story at church one year - that was a proud moment! 

4. Favourite Festive food? 

Does it sound bad to say that there are too many to chose from? Obviously I love Christmas dinner, especially the pigs in blankets, Yorkshire puddings and the stuffing. I love the tins of chocolates too like the Cadburys Roses, Quality Street etc - the strawberry and orange creams are my favourites. I really like Terry's Chocolate Oranges too.  

5. Favourite Christmas gift? 

There's not really anything that stands out but getting my first mobile phone was quite exciting at the time. I think when you're little, every year the presents get 'better' than the year before and are your new favourites. 

Last year I got my first pair of GHDs which was amazing because I've wanted some for 5/6 years! And they are something I'll keep for a long time. 

6. Favourite Christmas scent?

I do like cinnamony smells but sometimes they can be a bit too strong. Is it weird to say that I love that kinda dusty smell when you get the decorations down from the loft and the smell of tinsel? 

And the smell of Christmas dinner cooking. And the smell of clementines always reminds me of Christmas too! 

7. What tops your tree? 

Our theme for our decorations is gold so we have a gold star on the top of our tree. 

8. Do you have any Christmas Eve traditions? 

We always watch the Polar Express on Christmas Eve, get the Christmas chocolates chocolates out and have a Chinese takeaway. Then we put out a glass of milk and a mince pie for Santa and a carrot for Rudolph and we lay out stockings by the fire. I usually have a Lush bath with something Christmassy like the melting snowman or cinders bath bomb. 

9. As a kid, what was one crazy present you wished for but never received? 

I don't think there was anything, maybe I'm just super spoilt? I'm sure there was probably something I asked for that was crazy expensive. 

I think I might of asked for a mobile phone when I was about 9 which was a year before I actually had one. 

10. What's the best part of Christmas for you? 

The Christmassy feeling and the excitement because it genuinely is the best time of the year. Everyone is so excited and happy and it's just something great to look forward to. 

It's magical and I love the fact that so many people in the world are celebrating the same thing at the same time. 

You also get to see friends and family that you might only see once a year and it's basically an excuse to catch up and bring everyone together. 

You also get to eat a tonne of food and no-one can judge you because hey, guess what!? It's Christmas! Hehe ;)

Thank you so much to Poppy for tagging me and i tag everyone who is reading this to do it too!

October/November Favourites and Update

Sorry I didn't manage to do an October favourites so thought I'd combine the last two months together. October was a pretty rubbish month for me, hence why I didn't write a favourites. I have been struggling with M.E, anxiety, not being able to sleep etc and didn't manage to get things done like in September. Some days in October were quite frankly awful and some of the worst days I've ever experienced. I felt partially bad around Halloween and November didn't start much better. As I said my anxiety has been really bad and I've been waking up in the night having panic attacks and struggling to sleep and eat because I am so anxious. It's so hard to know what to do when you've tried everything you can think of and you're exhausted and in pain. M.E and anxiety do not mix. I think I know the reason for my anxiety so I know I will be okay soon but it is still an awful thing to have to go through. 

November has been about the same with lots of panic attacks and struggling to sleep. At the end of the month I had a lot of really bad pain too which I struggled to deal with. If anyone has any tips on coping with pain, let me know. 

One thing that has been helping me is an app called BeatPanic. You do have to pay 69p for it but it honestly works really well when you're having a panic attack and the best way to describe it is as a set of flash cards that appear one after one on the screen with either things to do to help you calm down i.e. Repeating a calming word to yourself or taking deep breaths or reminding you that you are safe and that anxiety cannot hurt you. I'd definitely recommend it if you struggle with anxiety or panic attacks and would be great to use in public because no one would know what you were doing, they'd just think you were looking at your phone - which you are! I've also been using other meditation apps. 

I don't know if this goes alongside how bad I've been feeling but my skin has never ever been this dry. There was a point at the beginning of the month where it was flaking off and crumbling in my hands and the only thing I've found to help that is exfoliating my skin with a physical face scrub and applying argon oil. I've used Argon Oil for a long time in my hair but have never really had the need to use it on my face before now. I've since tried going back to my regular face serum but nothing is cutting it at the moment. 

I've been enjoying reading and have read the whole Confessions of a Shopaholic series by Sophie Kinsella which I tried to read a few years ago but found super boring. Tried it again and loved it. Couldn't get enough. Also been loving christmas books by Carole Matthews - The Christmas Party and Calling Mrs Christmas. 

I've been out a few times over the past two months but not as much as usual or as I would like. I have been shopping a couple of times but felt quite ill during both times and had to sit down/go back to the car. I've been out for lunch a couple of times too and have been going for a little stroll down our road with my mum every evening which I am really proud of. 

I've managed to write all my Christmas cards but am struggling to get things done in time for Christmas and I'm feeling anxious that I won't be well enough to enjoy it as much as I would like. I forgot how exhausting small things like writing cards can be when you feeling extra poorly. 

Goals for December are:

- Put Christmas Decorations Up

-Bake something 

-Wrap and send presents 

-Go shopping at least once and get eyebrows done before Christmas 

-Get a festive drink from both Starbucks and Costa 

-Enjoy Christmas 

Chloe xxx 

P.S sorry if this is badly written, I didn't want to not post but pain/brain fog are not on my side today. 

Positivity

It's sometimes hard to stay positive especially when being a spoonie means there is so much you can't do. Something I like to do when I feel down is to go onto Pinterest and either look at some of my favourite quotes and sayings or to try and find some new ones. 

Here are a few of my favourites, I hope they brighten your day and bring you happiness and positivity. 

Chloe xx 

The Unpredictable Side of M.E

M.E is a fluctuating illness and aside from suffering from payback after activity, good days and bad days tend to come as they please. 

It's hard to plan ahead because you never know how you will be but at the same time, you have to plan ahead so that you can rest beforehand. Even then, resting before an activity doesn't guarantee you'll be well enough to do it. This often leads to suffers having to cancel plans last minute or stop what they are doing to rest, sit down or take time out.

As an ME sufferer I think something that really helps is having an understanding family and friends. If the people around you understand that you could suddenly feel very ill, it can help to make you feel more relaxed and comfortable. It's always good to have a plan B incase you are not well enough to do the original activity. 

It is important to remember that if you are around an ME sufferer who has to sit down or stop an activity that it is not their fault and that they cannot predict or control this. It is important for family and friends to be able to accept changes in plans and be flexible. 

I think I can speak for all sufferers when I say that the last thing we want is to have to change or plans because of how we are feeling. 

It's scary to think that you could feel really ill when you are out or if you are alone and that you don't know how you are going to feel in a few minutes, hours, days, weeks etc. 

One minute I can be fine (well not fine but okay) then the next I feel awful. 

I'm not talking about payback because feeling bad after doing something is expected and means that you have had fun rather than feeling rubbish for no reason. Payback is expected but you can't see all bad spells coming which is why suffers can find it hard to hold down a job or have a regular college/school/uni attendance. Pacing obviously helps but it cannot guarantee than you won't feel ill for no reason. 

How do you cope with the unpredictable side of M.E? Is there anything you like to have to hand for when a bad spell strikes? 

September Favourites

Beauty 

I am so in love with the Revlon Just Bitten Kissable Balm Stain in Crush. This was new to me at the beginning of the month and i love how it is a dark berry shade without looking too dark or gothic. It's super wearable and perfect for the day time.

 

I had a sample of the New Charity Pot from Lush in with my birthday present from my friend Charlotte and loved it so much that I went and bought the biggest tub they do. It is quite thick so you probably wouldn't need to use it all over, every day but it's great for super dry patches like elbows and feet and is surprisingly even more moisterising than any BodyShop body butters I've tried.

 

Something else that I love from Lush is The Comforter Bubble Bar which smells of raspberries and sweets and turns your bath pink and super bubbly - what's not to love? Sorry I don't have a picture of it, I've used most of it up! 

Achievements

I baked two cakes this month, a lemon drizzle and a Victoria sandwhich cake, went shopping three times, went to a garden centre for lunch and went to a Macamillan coffee morning. I'm super impressed with how much I've done this much and really pleased I managed it all and feel really grateful to of had such a good month! 

The lemon drizzle cake I made 

Things I'm looking forward to next month

October is one of my favourite months and I'm really looking forward to Halloween! I love Halloween so I'm hoping to bake something Halloween related and maybe dress up a little bit... 

I'm hoping to go out shopping a couple of times too and to my favourite place for a hot chocolate with my mum and nan! Sorry I don't really have many new favourites this month. A lot of the books I have read haven't been very good! 

How was your September? 

An Autumn Walk

This morning we went for an autumnal walk at a country park near where I live. Here are a few pictures I took...

Chloe xx 

Things Lately

I try to keep my blog as happy and positive as possible and I like to think that I've come a long way where positivity is concerned but recently I've been feeling a bit stressed and a bit lonely too. Since finishing college, it upsets me that I don't really have any friends my age that I am able to meet up with often and although I have friends that I have met through Twitter, I would love some friends that live near me.

I feel really stressed about what I'm going to do in the future job/education-wise. I also feel really anxious about it and like I have no purpose sometimes. It scares me to think too far ahead to the future so I try to take every day as it comes. I don't feel like this as much as I used to but it's a big change not to be in education and not to see people my age and is something that is hard to get used to. I'm scared about never having a job, or being able to go back to education, never having friends or being able to do the things I want to do. I'm worried about what people will think if I'm not at college or working and it's making me so stressed. I feel like I need to have a plan but I don't and I really can't find anything that suits me which is so disappointing and disheartening that I can't do what I want to do. 

Don't get me wrong, most of the time I'm happy and positive but it's hard to be like that all the time and it sometimes gets to me. I try to apprieate the little things but it's really hard to see everyone else my age starting to drive and looking at uni's when I can't even walk too far or go shopping without suffering and being in a lot of pain afterwards. 

Chloe xx 

Dover Castle and Beach Adventures

A couple of weeks ago, I had a busy week and managed two full days out the house. The first was a trip to Dover Castle. 

Pondering over the meaning of life in the Abbey...

I climbed a LOT of stairs which was extremely difficult and painful but the view was worth it, do you think? 

 

Two days later we went to the beach for the day....

Typical English weather, the sky was very grey and so was the sea! 

I expected the second day to be the hardest and I thought I would feel worse because I would be suffering from payback from the first day but actually it was the other way round. The first day, I felt absolutely awful and didn't think I would make it out the car at first, let alone up the castle and I'm super proud of myself for how much I managed and how much walking I did, even if me and nan got left behind a lot! One thing I wouldn't recommend doing if you have ME/Fibro and are visiting Dover is going in the war time tunnels. We thought we'd just be wandering through but it was a guided tour and we had to walk super fast down slopes and there were automatic doors that closed behind you if you didn't move fast enough which was really horrible and I struggled so much. You couldn't drink down there either (although I did have to in the end because I felt awful and like I was going to pass out) and the tour was 45 mins so quite long and draining. There are also a lot of loud sounds, moving pictures and flashing lights so if I had know it was like that, I definitely wouldn't of gone! Silly me for not researching it properly beforehand. 

Both days out were super cold and freezing! Where has summer gone? I really enjoyed sitting relaxing on the beach though (even if I did look a bit of an idiot wrapped up in loads of layers including some of my nans clothes - lol my life is so elegant!). The beach is one of my favourite places to go, it's a shame I probably won't get to go until spring next year! 

I hope you enjoyed reading about some more of my adventures, I love sharing them with you all! 

Chloe xxx