Thursday 2 August 2012

Imagine ME

Imagine ME

Imagine having a really bad hangover, a throbbing headache, then having to run a marathon, then coming down with the worst flu in the world, all at the same time.

On top of that, imagine someone is prodding needles into you constantly, into every single part of your body, nowhere pain-free, untouched.

Imagine someone spinning you around on a chair so you are extremely dizzy and nauseous and shining a bright torch in your eye so that light hurts. You just want to turn away and stop it but you can't.

Pain erupts from every place on your body like being wrapped in a blanket of nails.

Then also, imagine everyone has a speaker phone, so even a whisper seems like shouting.

You just want everyone to shut up, to be quiet and to leave you alone, somewhere silent and alone.

Imagine spraining every single muscle in your body (even ones you didnt know you had!) and having to carry someone equivalent to your own weight who is clinging on to your legs all the time. And they won't let go, no matter how much you beg and plead.

Imagine having muscle spasms almost constantly uncontrollably which feels like torture as its so painful and totally exhausting too.

It's the last thing you need.

Imagine someone speaking a foreign unknown language to you, really fast and you have to concentrate REALLY hard to try work out what they're saying, then you forget it.

Imagine having to sit in an ice bath for a long time, freezing cold, all the time.

Then imagine sitting in a sauna for hours and hours on end.

Imagine switching between the two, every few minutes. One minute cold, the next, hot.

If you think you can't get any more tired, imagine having panic attacks on top of that, & really bad anxiety which literally drains any energy you've got left.

Then, imagine staying like this, not knowing if/when you're going to get better, having to deal with this HUGE change of lifestyle.

Imagine never having a break, never getting a day off. You are like this for 24 hours a day. 7 days a week.

Imagine how tough and heartbreaking this illness can be.

How difficult and hard.

Imagine a lot of your support mechanisms breaking down, some friends move on.

Imagine not being able to go to work, school, or out with your friends.

Imagine having to deal with this on a day to day basis, not knowing how you are even going to be hour by hour.

And worse of all, imagine being told 'ME isn't real' and 'it's all in your head'. Even by medical processionals.

This is what we need to change. I can't control my ME, the causes, the pain, the suffering, the cure, but what everyone together CAN change is its understanding.

I hope you can understand.

There are people out there suffering. Nobody deserves to feel like this. ME patients were healthy, lively, fun, outgoing, adventurous, clever, the list goes on. They were hardworking, with great jobs, grades and ambitions.

Then they got struck down by this illness.

Some of these people are my friends and they don't deserve this.

Nobody does.


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