Tuesday 19 February 2013

Emotions we experience due to Chronic illness - REJECTION

Yes, it's that time again. I'm really enjoying writing these posts, so let's crack on with another one!

I'm afraid that way too often people who are disabled, unable to work or participate, having weird sounding invisible symptoms end up feeling rejected.

Sometimes that is because they are being rejected. We live in a society who values most productivity.

Most self worth comes from what you 'do' and we can't do much. Sometimes we are shunned, sometimes actually told off for not being able to work, go to school or care for others. Some think that we are simply not trying.

When other people behave like this I try to remember that they are afraid. Our illness scares them. It exposes their own vulnerability and people feel very comfortable when they feel vulnerable. We are a reminder to them that nothing in life is sure, nothing forever. Nothing can be planned too far ahead, life gets in the way. Things happen. I certainly didn't imagine myself like this at 15. I thought id be in school, with friends, going shopping every weekend, maybe having a boyfriend? But no.

It is often easier for otter people to deny that we are really ill than to face that possibility themselves. Sometimes the rejection comes from indirect comments and dometimes, we spoonies can be more sensitive than others. We can also be stronger than others but we do have more time to sit and think about things that people have said about us. Resting, not being able to sleep, things go round and round in our heads.

I feel rejected as a teenager. I don't feel that I'm a very good teenager. I don't want to go out to parties because I know how crap I'll feel afterwards. I won't know anyone, I don't have a boyfriend and I don't have many friends. I try to be independent but I'm not. I don't go to school and I don't know the latest celeb gossip. I don't listen to the latest music and I don't wear fashionable clothes. I don't smoke, drink or go clubbing. So there you go. Not like other teenagers at all.




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