Tuesday 26 February 2013

Worthlessness - Emotions we experience when chronically ill

Hey guys,

It's me again! Okay, let's be honest, who else would it be?!

WORTHLESSNESS - (I hope that is a word!)
We live in a society where the first thing people ask you (when you first meet them) is "what do you do?", meaning 'for a living' its quite easy to feel like you do nothing when you're ill. (If you are a teen like me, you get asked what school you go to, and I have no idea what to answer when they ask that!) Awkward!!

Many spoonies with these illnesses don't have the strength or energy to even do ordinary household chores let alone hold a 9-5, Mon-Fri job outside the home too.

Even those who don't have the fatigue problem still are very limited because of having to avoid chemicals and dust and mold, bright lights (sitting in front of a computer or in a shop), loud noises and other things.

So the 'what do you do' question is quite tricky! Others seem to judge us by that standard too. So what is our worth? If you are a doctor or a teacher, you are 'worth' more than someone who is a cleaner or works in a shop.

All of us who are ill go through this questioning at least periodically, and especially during long periods of 'crashes'. We don't even know who we are anymore! :(

We're sure not like we were pre-illness! Some can't play with their kids like they used to, do the hobbies or sports that they once loved. And we feel like we're always needing something, some help. We feel very dependent on others and sometimes we feel that others resent that.

We don't want to ask for too much because after all what do we have to offer in return?

The frustrating thing is, us who are ill, are often very bright, clever people. Our dreams were to become vets, or firemen!

We had/have potential and it's really hard to explain that to someone.

How do you feel about this? Whether you experience any of these emotions or symptoms regularly, I just wanna say that you are not alone. Sometimes it's hard to tell how you feel, especially if you are feeling more than one emotion at a time.

I hope this series is helping some of you

Chloe xo


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