Recently I've been feeling really down about the fact that I don't have a lot of friends. I have a lot of online friends, people I write to and talk to on twitter and don't get me wrong, I'm super grateful for them all and I love them loads but sometimes I wish I had more real-life friends that i can hang out with.
There are so many hurdles to get over and problems to face though. For example: how would I meet new friends? I finish college in a couple of weeks and I'm not well enough to join any clubs or groups. If I made friends, I wouldn't be able to do a lot with them because I can't walk too far or go shopping etc. I am only 16 (17 next week!) and I don't have much of a social life which makes me sad because I think I'm quite a social person. I like to talk (a lot) and I'd really like to hang out with people my own age but it's too complicated and it wouldn't be fair on the people I hung out with.
Sometimes I think I've got my ME under control and I manage to do quite a lot and it doesn't affect me much but other times, like at the moment, when I'm super poorly, I'm like "wow, I really do have ME don't i?!" I don't really have a way of controlling this and it is a huge part if my life.
Sometimes it hits me how much I can't do. I can't eat certain things, I can't do anything that requires much energy, I can't walk or exercise, I can't work the job that I want to. And I literally cannot explain to you, how much ME sucks. It really sucks and at the moment, it sucks big time.
That's exactly how I've been feeling recently! Wish we lived closer so we could hang out together! <3
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling like this Chloe, I completely get what you mean also - it can be so difficult when you can't leave the house very much, as some people become disinterested in you as a person and don't want an 'ill friend'. That's why it's so important for us to hang onto our good friends, the ones who can see past our ME and treat us the same as they did before we became so unwell. ME really does suck, big time! I hope it helps knowing that there are others out there in the same position, and we'll always be there for each other <3 spoonie love!
ReplyDeleteMeg | meg-says.com
Thanks so much for your comment, Meg! I love your blog btw! :) It definitely is hard, especially when im a naturally chatty and social person! <3 Sending loads of love back! xxx
DeleteThanks for your comment, Alice! Me too! Loads of love xxxxx
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